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The Battery Battery

By Tyler McLaughlin | Published: October 11, 2009

The Battery Battery

Batteries for planes, batteries in bikes,
Batteries for games that everyone likes.
Batteries for this, batteries for that,
Batteries for gloves and batteries for bats.
Batteries for boats, batteries for guns,
Batteries for all, in trucks by the tons!
Batteries for swords, batteries for lights,
Batteries for the simplest of things even kites?

Batteries, batteries – in every size,
We buy them so that we can all energize.
All of our energetic little gizmo’s galore
All these things we don’t need yet we buy more & more.
Slow down, take a breather – let us reconcile…
To think on this battery of batteries awhile -

Now, I know first hand how odd it must seem,
For those far beyond this battery scheme,
To look at a feller like me in my shoes
Who buys up more batteries knowing this news
And can’t for some reason seem to let go
Of the ways of the battery buying ego.
It’s a choice I realize, a decision to change;
A conscious effort to fully rearrange,
This pattern of thought which with unconscious ease
Goes out to the store and buys more batteries.

Battery acid just isn’t good stuff -
We learn this as kids but we don’t learn enough
To fully understand the awful effect
Of the battery battery and we wouldn’t expect
That someday all of these batteries will be,
Mucking up life on this planet for me.
For me and you both & our children too,
And their children’s grandchildren I tell you it’s true.

So together let’s listen & lessen our use,
Of these energy eaters and stop this abuse,
And start to recharge and recycle these things
Cause we’re polluting our earth, aquifers & springs.
And someday in that beautiful future ahead
There be more folks alive cause the battery’s dead.

Tyler – 2009

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Thanksgiving is So Phat

By Tyler McLaughlin | Published: November 1, 1997

Halloween is over and done,
now Fall is setting in;
and at the end of this month here
Thanksgiving will begin.

November is a month I love,
the weather is so sweet.
I’m not sure if there is another
month that can compete.

Thanksgiving dinner is the best,
then grandma is around.
Cause she can cook that turkey breast,
that makes me sleep so sound.

I wish we had Thanksgiving
more than once a year
but we don’t so we must keep on living
without any fear.

Now I know it’s just a holiday
and a damn good one at that…
So I’ll leave you with these words I say
THANKSGIVING IS SO PHAT!!!

Tyler – 1997

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The Smart One

By Tyler McLaughlin | Published: February 24, 1997

Foolishness lies within the eyes
of a man who seeks the truth
and right before him his fathers dies
not knowing of the hooth.

He believes but can’t conceive
of something so precise
but deep within he knows the sin
is freezing him like ice.

So begins his search
a boundless journey new
many before him had success
but did not have a clue.

His fortune lied before him
eternity on a plate
knowing that he needed to
wipe clean his tarnished slate.

He leveled with his peers
and then began the tears
for what he knew was near
but still in him the fear.

The devil had him tight
and his soul just needed glee
and all it took was for the man
to choose to be set free.

The choice was all now his
only he could decide
for the man was on his own this time
with no one on his side.

His eyes began to clear
and cheeks went up on high
brows began to see the cheer
lingering in his eye.

For this man chose the path
that set him free of sorrow
and now this fellow lives a life
where he looks forward to tomorrow.

Tyler – 1997

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What We Saw

By Tyler McLaughlin | Published: February 21, 1997

We stood there in awe,
as to what we saw.
Just he four of us handy…
me, Donni, Don & Randy.

The moon was shun bright,
on this 21st night…
of nineteen ninety seven –
February in heaven.

At the stroke of 12:00 exact
the moon was not intact.
It would take off for a bit,
then just barely it’d be lit.

Were we crazy, I think not.
Not a drug, or a shot.
We were sober as could be,
When we saw what we did see.

Standing there on Randy’s porch,
my brain was taking quite a scorch.
And the muscles in my neck,
were feeling quite a wreck.

But I couldn’t take my eyes away…
we all just sat there looking gay.
Happy, Yes – and eerie too…
then the moon began to turn blue.

Not the moon itself…
Just around the edges shelf.
I couldn’t believe my eyes,
we just say there hypnotized.

Donnie said “A witches moon…”
Don said “shut yer face…”
Randy sat and starred
With a peaceful look of grace.

I sort of rambled on,
“do you see that fuck’n shit man”
Yes we see it Tyler…
So cover your mouth up with your hand.

But still I kept on with the words
they just a kept on flowing
we were seeing all these colory blurs
and that blue moon just kept on glowing.

The clouds were making solid shapes,
A square, a circle then a star.
But the start it made has six points instead…
hexagonal it seemed from afar.

Just then still entranced my the moon…
I see from the corner of my eye
Something big and black just cruis’n
a little faster than the clouds in the sky.

And then old Don speaks out
“Oh, what the hell was that!”
“Shit, I don’t know” – I said real quick
Donnie says “A big old bat?”

“Bullshit Donnie, shut yer ass…
that as no fuck’n bat.
It was a B1 Bomber lost from World War II…
or the Atlantis crew comin’ back.”

Don needed to make some sense,
out of this whole freak’n ordeal.
I just thought I seen some alien ship
cruis’n our planet… for real!!!

I shook my head and rubbed my eyes
then took a second glance.
But when I looked, to my surprise
I almost shit my pants.

There it was, this large black object
moving across the sky.
It looked just like a gigantic black blimp
to the naked eye.

Well my friend no blimp I know of
could ever reach that height.
No siree this mother was up there
almost out’a sight.

It took a direct course,
never swaying, not a bit.
Moved just beside the moon,
and kept on moving fast as shit.

Tyler – 1997

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Enough College

By Tyler McLaughlin | Published: October 28, 1996

Right now my life feels insane
too much stuff is consuming my brain
and sure enough, it is this stuff
which limits my personal gain.

My life has become way to hectic
and I’m gracious for having not wrecked it
but my eyes are sore, I can’t read anymore
and my brain feels like woodpeckers pecked it.

There two hands of mine don’t have time
to work and write down all my rhymes
cause it’s English work now, then later pre-cal
and Psychology books after nine.

My hands don’t have time to be writing
about things that to me are exciting
cause I’m taking this class and it’s kicking my ass
and my teacher’s who I’ll soon be fighting.

Right now is prime time for me
To be learning who I want to be
You may not know it, but time will show it
and then you too will agree

That my life is my life to grow
and I’ll listen to all that you know
agreed or not, upon your thought
I’ll always be friend and not foe

I don’t care for riches and such
fancy things I don’t need so much
when I’m dead and alone, and my flesh turned to bones
what diamonds or gold can I touch?

What I do with my life I’ll do right
If I must then I’ll have to fight
for what his, hers, mine or yours
and I’ll do it with all of my might.

Tyler – 1996

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What If

By Tyler McLaughlin | Published: July 30, 1996

What if things weren’t as they were
and everything looked as if blurred.
If dark what light and days were night
and kittens barked but not purred.

What if dogs weren’t dogs anymore
and a window was now called a door.
If you were an I and I were a they
and seven plus eight equaled four.

What if airplanes drove along roads
and bullfrogs were smaller than toads.
If ice cubes were hot and peppers were not
and time was told by zip codes.

What if school was actually cool
and your toothpaste was made of drool.
If pigs were neat and fish had feet
and a smart man was labeled a fool.

What if the sky were green
and people were never mean.
If grass was blue and dirt was too
and Madonna looked like James Dean.

What if all of these words were Greek
and ten years was only a week.
If oranges were green and turtles were keen
and a duck had a mouth but no beak.

What if bathing was super dirty
and ugly was really perty.
If a sink were a shower and a day were an hour
and the cool thing was to be nerdy.

Tyler – 1996

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The Shoe Salesman

By Tyler McLaughlin | Published: June 14, 1996

Do you feel that your life’s a disaster,
Does it seem that the years go by faster,
Can you not get along, is everything wrong,
Is there nothing you think you can mater?

Well boy do I have good news…
It’s time you got ride of those blues.
So listen up good, cause you probably should
all you need is a new pair of shoes.

Don’t you worry… cause you’re in good hands.
You see I my brother am a shoe salesman.
I got all shapes and sizes and even some pairs…
little ones, big ones, & these two that I wear.

Now I normally wouldn’t give up my shoes
but in your case it’s different, cause you’ve got the blues.
I know they look costly, they’re priceless to me…
but you need shoes badly, so I’ll lower my fee.

Five measly bucks, that’s all I paid…
for this pair of shoes the day they were made.
But oh what a difference these fellers make
they look nice, they’re comfy and smell oh so great.

I’ve had them repaired about ten times or so
cause I always get scared when the soles get too low.
The laces are new and I like them a lot,
there easy to tie and get out of a knot.

Now boy listen here, these shoes are a charm.
I’m telling you now they can’t cause no harm.
Miles and miles these two shoes have gone…
from L.A. to Detroit, made in San Juan.

Tyler – 1996

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A Bendless Space

By Tyler McLaughlin | Published: June 7, 1996

the time now has most definitely begun
we are here, we are now, we have won
the stuff in the past now ceases to last
for our new now is what we have shun

there was time for thoughts of the latter
and the future never looked flatter
but now that we know to the extent we can go
the future holds a most brilliant platter

i know that we all have the will
which empowers us to seek out and kill
the ego we are, when we’re selfishly far
from the One who in time will reveal

for the hill that we now climb is endless
and it leads to a place that is bendless
where edges are not and corners are shot
and forever becoming trendless

Tyler – 1996

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People Are People

By Tyler McLaughlin | Published: April 11, 1996

You must accept people,
the way that they are…
stupid, smart
or however bizarre.

Whichever their color,
their shape or their size…
the length of their hair,
or the tone of their eyes.

Their’s tall ones and short ones
and all in between
some who are senseless
and other so keen.

So why not accept
without any exceptions?
Why not just live
without and deceptions?

It’d be great if folks
would just “let it be”
The way that God planned
for you and for me.

But they don’t and that’s life
and life is still good,
and we keep on living
as best we should.

So a hind of advice
that will open your eyes
accept someone different
you might be surprised.

Tyler – 1996

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Fortunate One

By Tyler McLaughlin | Published: March 12, 1996

Ladies and Gents – my male and female companions.
Brothers and sisters, our daughters and sons.
The closest of friends, the loves of my life
Your roads without ends, my husband… my wife.
My love for you forever keeps growing.
And for this I thank Him, The One The All Knowing.
You are all so beautiful – creations of all kinds
Your souls are unique, you have magnificent minds.
Your hearts are strong, your body’s so pure
If I’m mad or depressed your my only cure.
Your families are good, they’ve raised you well
Cause none of you stink, this is how I can tell.
We’re young and we’re learning, all making mistakes
All of us yearning to stand at those gates.
Or wherever it is that our souls go to play
When it comes to the point that our bodies shall lay.
Or be burned and in turn give back to the earth
What she’s given to us from that moment of birth.
I want to always be close to you
You’re like lifelines to me.
And I’d like you to know
That it’s you whom I see
When I picture the future, remember the past
I’m one fortunate fellow to have met you at last.
I love you all.

Tyler – 1996

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Rork The Dork

By Tyler McLaughlin | Published: December 20, 1995

I am a dork
A professional geek.
I’m little, I’m ugly,
and I’m pretty darn weak.

My name is Rork,
and I make Q-tips.
It’s how I live
and where I get my kicks.

Talk about fun
my job is a trip
I wrap the cotton
around that little white stick.

It’s crazy, it’s wild
it’s better than reading.
It’s more fun than math
and sure beats fish feeding.

I’m sorry I didn’t mean
to put down my my fish
his first name is Best
his last name is Wish.

Best is one year old
I feed him everyday
his scales are sort of yellow gold
and his eyes are black and gray.

I love him oh so much
my little Mr. Wish
he loves me too, I’m positive
that yellow-golden fish.

Enough about my fish
let me tell you bout my car.
It’s little and it’s dented
and it won’t go very far.

I’m not sure what it is
there are no markings on my car
except for lots of gang writing
and big long splats of tar.

My rims have all been stolen
and my rear windshield is cracked
but I love my car so very much
it always brings my back…

to my fish Mr. Wish.

Tyler – 1995

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Dwarbles

By Tyler McLaughlin | Published: November 9, 1995

Do you think that there’s Martians on Mars?
That there’s something out beyond the stars?
Well then listen here closely, cause this poem is just mostly
about Dwarbles from Dwarneptitarz.

So, what is a Dwarble you say?
Does he run, does he jump, does he play?
Well my friends yes indeed, he can run with great speed
and could jump over mountains all day.

See a Dwarble has long springy legs
he’s fuzzy and lays purple eggs
he really is nice, though his eyes bulge like mice
and his arms are just short little pegs.

Tyler – 1995

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English Paper

By Tyler McLaughlin | Published: October 20, 1995

Washing all my clothes,
down at the laundry place…
and no-one even knows
the problems that I face.

See I’m supposed to write this paper
for my English Comp I class
but I’m having trouble doing so
and I feel like quite and ass.

Cause this papers due real soon
and I’ve got to get it done
and if I don’t I surely won’t
be having too much fun.

So I guess I’ll write the paper
and get it all complete
cause soon enough I’ll have another
which I’ll have to defeat.

Tyler – 1995

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Big Bend Again

By Tyler McLaughlin | Published: October 19, 1995

One week from today
I’ll be feel’n pretty good,
because Nathan & myself
will be going where we should.

Where we’re going is the best
I try to dream of it at night
but I can’t get enought rest
to let me see the light.

I’m really getting anxious
cause the big days pretty soon
I’ll be lying down in Big Bend
gazing up into the moon.

And at that very moment,
life will feel so sweet
cause I’ll have open skies above me
and the mountains at my feet.

Boquillas Canyon here we come
and we’re driving without fuss
cause we’re cruisen to west Texas
in my VW bus.

Tyler -1995

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Math Smells Bad To Me

By Tyler McLaughlin | Published: September 26, 1995

When sitting here in class
I try to be attentive
but boredom seems to hit me fast
and then I’ve no incentive

To sit here in my little desk
and learn all these equations
then have to take some crazy test
it turns my brain to raisins

Numbers just confuse me
they get my panties in a bunch
they never do amuse me
I’d like to give them quite a punch

Multiply, subtract & add
but still you must divide
To me this stuff is really bad
and no ones’ on my side

Algebra oh Algebra
won’t you leave me be
Algebra oh Algebra
please don’t mess with me

Tyler – 1995

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Iris’s Blue

By Tyler McLaughlin | Published: September 26, 1995

Why are my eyes blue,
and now brown green or yellow?
Well alight then, I must tell you –
It’s due to just one fellow.

His name is John McLaughlin,
and sometimes he makes me mad.
To you he’s just another name,
but this John is my dad.

He’s really quite a guy,
If you met him you would know…
that he too also has blue eyes,
from where my eyes did grow.

An intellect is he
my father, oh so smart.
Intelligence he game to me
along with a great heart.

I love him a great deal
and I’m happy he’s my pop.
All through his life my love he’ll feel
and never will it stop.

Tyler – 1996

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The Misinterpreter’s Guide to Success

By Tyler McLaughlin | Published: September 16, 1995

It’s a myth to me how at times we retract
due to the way we see others react.
Though at times we are right, our actions in spite
may cause feelings the others think wack.

So in time of confusion, hesitate.
For if not you might make the mistake,
of hurting another, whom you call a brother
there are times to negotiate.

I’m not saying make a bet with the devil
Just wait till your head is more level
cause hasty actions can cause nasty reactions
so chill and don’t be so shevell.

Yes shevell’s my word it means mean.
So when frustration starts just turn off your machine
cause words really hurt, so don’t take off your shirt
if it’s not dirty then let it be clean. Do you see what I mean?

I’ll end with a bit more advice…
when your teeth start to chatter like mice
just bite down on your tongue, till the fat lady’s sung
and then wait till your can say something nice… like “Good Rice!”

Tyler – 1995

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Agen

By Tyler McLaughlin | Published: August 7, 1995

I get bored when driving
especially in a car
but stick me in a V-Dub Bus
and I’ll drive very far.

I’ll drive all through the day
and push on through the night
I’d go all week without a yawn
I tell you I just might.

Agen is my bus’s name
he’s twenty-five years old
he’s red & white and sort of plain
but worth his weight in gold.

I couldn’t give him up
there’s no way and there’s no how
If I did I think I’d throw up
and probably have a cow

Once a fellow asked to buy him
I said sorry bud can’t do
he said that I’ll just have to cry
and whimpered boo hoo hoo

I told him that it’d be alright
and to chill out for a bit
when he look up with weepy eyes
and said “i feel like shit”

Tyler – 1995

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Luggage Racks

By Tyler McLaughlin | Published: July 14, 1995

Find’n out whose almost there,
Wond’rin if they even care.
Cause to them it’s just another dive,
Move’n again to stay alive.

They’ll pack and unpack, then repack again,
Just to find out that too soon they’re out and back in.
It’s the routine of things that’s made them all nuts,
And the smell of exhaust and their cigarette butts.

Greased lightning’s what the driver sings.
Jack’s in the back just think’n bout things.
The luggage rack’s rattle is keep’n the beat,
While the crack in the engine leaves oil in the street.

And it’s summer in the fall –
And they can’t get far at all –
Cause they’re sick and they’re hot
And they’re almost out’a pot – for the first time…

One of the passengers started guess’n
When they’d get there or learn their lesson.
But the ever steady passing lights
Just kept the reminder of so many nights.

So they roll while they roll and it begins to take toll
On their hearts and their minds and especially their soul.
Now Gulliver may have thought his travels were rough,
But if he only knew us he’d a thought we were tough.

Greased lightning’s what the driver would sing.
Jack in the back finally heard the bell ring.
The luggage rack’s rattle that kept that steady beat,
Is now somewhere in Mississippi lying broke in the street.

And it’s cold in December –
And they can’t seem to remember –
Cause their minds are too cold
And they’re getting too old – to be doing this…

Tyler – 1995

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Miss Joleen

By Tyler McLaughlin | Published: June 11, 1995

Let me tell you this story,
bout a girl named Jolee.
Now this sweethang was pretty,
I’m talk’n pretty mean.

I remember one even’n,
when I walked in the door;
I said “Hey baby Joleen,
I’m back in from the store.”

She said “What do you mean,
you’re back for some more?”
I said “No baby hold it…” –
then she laid me out on the floor.

Next mornin’ I woke up
big ol’ bump upon my head
from where I had fallen
should have been in my bed.

But when Miss Joleen was upset
she’d do things without regret
and they would hurt
make you feel like dirt.

That girl was mean,
Miss Joleen.

Tyler – 1995

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Why

By Tyler McLaughlin | Published: October 15, 1994

I’m dealing with choices,
from odd American voices.
Literature can be good,
when it’s not forced in your faces.
I can’t stand the problems
between all different races.
Wartime sucks,
so why do we fight?
For power and control
over who’s wrong and who’s right.
Why not let people
think what they will…
whether Darwinism, the Christian Religion
or free love on a grassy hill.
There’s no need to criticize,
make up lies or cheat.
Too many suffer
from another’s defeat.

Tyler – 1994

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Big Bend

By Tyler McLaughlin | Published: September 28, 1994

Now to tell you the truth,
I’d much rather be
standing in Big Bend,
with nature about me.

In solitude we lie
just me the earth and my gear,
and upon I will rely
without a constant fear.

In peacefulness we sleep
my camping gear and I,
with earth all around my body
and the stars high in the sky.

When I feel a chilly gust of wind
my mind races like a child
remembering my 1st trip to Big Bend,
just me, my gear, and the wild.

In gratitude we stay
my camping gear and I
to hike along in natures way
and experience quite a high.

Tyler – 1994

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Sick Of The Heat

By Tyler McLaughlin | Published: August 12, 1994

I’m really getting sick of the heat
If it were cold that would be sweet.
But of course it’s not, and I’m still hot
and the pavement is burning my feet.

Right now the air disgusts me
it’s humid, it’s hot and it must be.
But summers till here and fall is near
and the leaves will soon fall abruptly.

Today came the rain and the cold,
The heat was getting real old.
But now it’s wet and you can bet
that soon there will be mold.

Now I can step outside
without having to get fried,
from the sun that burns my buns
that really chaps my hide.

I feel that I can’t go wrong
and now I can get along
because it’s colder, I feel bolder
I want to sing a song.

Tyler – 1994

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